While we were sitting outside at a table, Josh wrapped his arm around mine and interlaced his fingers with mine. He held my hand…IN PUBLIC. That’s a HUGE deal because he doesn’t like to hold hands at all. He’d barely hold my hand when he was driving, never in public until yesterday. He later slid my hand onto his lap and told me to touch IT, but that’s beside the point, lol. He held my hand in public for the first time. I’m happy.

�I’ma keep it 100. Can’t do any less.�

Josh

Newest tattoo

Today, I drove 3.5 hours to Coalinga, had to wait for 3.5 hours, saw him for 2 hours, then drove another 3 hours back home.

Going to see my babe tomorrow! I am overly excited. Damn near about to go insane, lol. 

11 months to go!

Confession #801

lobalita:

No one holds me to a higher standard than myself, and it’s sickening.

Yes, I snuck out of my own graduation, lol.

Texts during my graduation

Mom: Hey, can you sneak up out of here?

Me: I’m about to try.

Mom: Ok, we’re in front of the tents.

Me: *sneaks out*

I’ve been busy busy busy all day: running errands, cleaning, going to get chairs and a table, going to the market, cooking, etc. I’m tired af, and I still have to do my hair for tomorrow, smh. And it’s not like I can relax tomorrow either because I have to go to graduation rehearsal and go on an interview before graduation. *deep sigh* I can never get any rest.

His new name is Schmoop, lol. He’s gonna hate it, but I love it. :)

(Source: chaseyourdreamschangeyourlife)

Graduation is in 2 days. I’m kinda excited. I’m not really excited for the graduation itself, but more for the gifts, party, and the other events that follow. I kinda wish that I could skip graduation, but I know it means a lot to my parents.

I try to avoid thinking about the actual graduation because it makes it more real that Josh isn’t here for my graduation, and I wish that he was. So many times I became frustrated with school and wanted to be like “eff this shit,” but Josh kept me motivated and pushed to me to continue. Because of that, I feel like my success is partly due to him. He is my motivation, so graduation is not as exciting as it should be because I know I won’t be able to look out into the crowd and see his face. It’s just not the same without him.